Sanctimonious pricks have discovered that by “hiding” disgusting fatty foods of the devil instead of outright banning them they can pretend to be Promoting Healthy Choices and avoid being labelled as food-fascists at the same time.
Over one-third of children and teens are still not fully developed adult human beings yet and are still carrying some baby fat which isn’t taken into account by the BMI or paranoid fatphobes.
Researchers agreed that children needed to be taught to make better choices. However the implementation plan for the scheme was created on Opposites Day, so instead of actually offering choices and education a range of cheap tricks were settled on.
Particularly effective was the plan to make queues shorter and faster for people buying salad, which has been directly connected to teens’ health awareness, given that teens are the least lazy group of people in the world.
None of the academics involved would be quoted on what would happen when the children left school for the real world where vegetable-serving lunch ladies and free salad bars might be in short supply.
However one source commented off the record that no one really gave a shit because at least they would have set all involved firmly on the path of body-hatred and orthorexia, valuable sources of research funding for food behaviour scientists.