So, Stephen Fry has happily joined the list of People I Have Formerly Idolized Who Commit Massive Fucking Fail.
There’s just a tiny thing I need to get off my chest.
Of course a lot of women will deny this and say, ‘Oh, no, but I love sex, I love it!’ But do they go around having it the way that gay men do?
Short answer: FUCK YOU, STEPHEN FRY, AND FUCK YOUR POLICING OF [HETERO] WOMEN’S SEXUALITY.*
I enjoy sex. I think sex is really fun. I have had one-night stands and pre-arranged rendezvous and experimental fooling around and naughty little encounters in semi-public places.
Sex is, frankly, fucking awesome to me.
And now that I have said that, Mr Fry? Now I am vulnerable to accusations from my political and personal opponents – I have particularly high hopes of the prolifers screaming about my desire to sleep around with no consequences, but there’s plenty of other types who will seize on the paragraph above as a symbol of my immorality, my lack of ethics, my terribly casual attitude about The Sacred Gift of My Vaginal Canal.
Now, Mr Fry, the pseudonymity of my blog is paramount; because it is simply not socially safe for me as a young woman to say the things in the above paragraph. Not just because my family would be shocked, or my coworkers would give each other meaningful glances across the breakroom.
Because, Mr Fry, do you know what happens to women who openly state they enjoy sex, who act in an overtly sexual manner, who admit to casual sex?
If they get raped, their rapist walks free.
Because a woman saying she enjoys sex is obviously always up for it. And a woman who’s had casual sex in the past must not be fussy about who she fucks. And a woman who flirts is just “sending the wrong signals” and completely gives up her right to say “no”.
Now, I’m the kind of cranky, defiant angry-feminist-blogger who is willing to take that risk in order to change the world teaspoon by teaspoon. But it should not come as a surprise, especially to anyone who is a member of a marginalized group whose sexuality has so often been used to oppress them, that others feel too threatened to do the same – or may not even realise it’s an option.
On a side note, the other Massive Fucking Fail of the above quote? Besides the wonderful generalisation that all gay men are running about having casual sex with multiple partners left right and centre? Is the immediate equating of “likes sex” with “has it with everyone”. Guess what? Much as it’s none of your fucking business, my “number”? Is hilariously low.
Gee, I guess I must not really like sex at all and just be putting out for the security of a relationship.** Thanks for dictating my own mind and experience to me, Almighty Man!
*As others have pointed out, apparently Stephen Fry has never encountered that most elusive of creatures, The Lesbian.
**Fry’s further obliviousness to why women may feel they have to be in monogamous heterosexual relationships in a patriarchal society? I am disappoint.