New rule: if you look at this amazing piece of TARDIS cosplay, and your first, wittiest reaction is to make a fat joke about the woman wearing it …
I’d better never hear you complain that no women come to your conventions and clubs and Dr Who marathons.
It’s actually a bit fucking pathetic that an interest group (specifically: heterosexual cis dude geeks) who seem to take very little issue with the fact they’re stereotyped as fat, beardy, glasses-wearing indoors-types, nevertheless expect all women participants in their hobby to be just like the hot video game chicks they fap to.
I’ve seen people comment after a locally-organised anime convention that they were “disappointed” at the “quality” of the cosplay. This was apparently based on the fact that the chick dressed as Sailor Moon was, you know, a normal human being who seemed interested in having a good time with people who shared her interests in Sailor Moon. As opposed to an anatomically-impossible inflatable doll whose sole purpose in attending was so hetero cis dudes could take her photo for later masturbatory purposes.
How dare she?
That TARDIS cosplay linked above is creative, it’s amazingly well-executed, and the cosplayer looks fucking badass.
If the best thing you can think to say is that “lol it looks bigger on the outside”, you are a waste of human skin. The silver lining is the ironic fact that the only reason you don’t think the few women who do show up to conventions are hot enough is because you are a judgemental asshole, and I can only hope that this means you die alone.
So for your warm-up dose of headdesk, John Key thinks Liz Hurley would be “thrilled” by being on his fucklist “the endorsement”.
Oops, someone didn’t run that line through the “even vaguely believable” and “not phrased like marketing wank” filters.
But it gets better, because “managing director of Mango Communications” Claudia MacDonald would like us all to know:
his comments were “refreshing” to hear from a Prime Minister.
“The days of tightly buttoned-up politicians with carefully managed facades are waning,” she said.
Yes, Ms MacDonald. John Key appearing on a sporty-bloke radio show to wax lyrical about “dream dates” with three very-mainstream, very-recognisable, basically ubiquitously-agreed-as-conventionally-attractive women who all happen to have the same colour hair as his wife* has absolutely nothing to do with maintaining a carefully-managed facade which hides the fact he’s a boring old financier who un-ironically uses awkward, dated phrases like “party central” when he goes off-script.
I can only hope Mango Communications’ clients are as woefully oblivious as you or business could be in for a rough patch …
*Couldn’t risk a “John Key prefers blondes, Bronagh in tears” women’s mag backlash.
Inspired by comments on the relevant Standard post.
It isn’t actually relevant that your wife is totally cool with you finding Jessica Alba hot.
It isn’t actually relevant that your wife thinks Brad Pitt is hot.
It isn’t actually relevant that you don’t mind your wife finding Brad Pitt hot.
It isn’t actually relevant that “most guys think [celebrity X] is hot”.
It isn’t actually relevant that “men naturally look at attractive women” (it’s also a bullshit evo-psych excuse for not being decent human beings!)
It isn’t actually relevant that heaps of other Manly Males talk about which celebrity women they wish they could fuck with no actual consideration given to whether those women would ever want to fuck them.
It also isn’t about being “light-hearted” and it’s not about “having a sense of humour”.
It is about the Prime Minister of New Zealand going on a radio show hosted by a basically unapologetic violent abuser in order to make himself look more “ordinary” by reinforcing the idea that women are valuable for being young and hot and sexually available.
Not sure why that needed explaining, but there you go.
Is it just me or is the idea of our Prime Minister joking around with Tony Vietch (a guy who threw his fiance down the stairs before kicking her in the back) about celebrities he’d like to shag just a little creepy?
Props to Sue Kedgley for calling this shit out, but oh my god does the article get into some seriously bizarre territory:
On the other side of the airwaves, Veitch’s rival breakfast host, former Kiwis league great Dean Lonergan said Key’s comment had made him respect the PM even more. “John Key is a strong leader and a very good family man,” the LiveSport host said.
“Those women who might be upset at his comments are obviously just disappointed they never made John Key’s list and never will.
Um, yeah. Sue Kedgley definitely lies awake at night, sobbing into a handspun hemp handkerchief, crying out “WHY??? WHY JOHN WHY? WHY DON’T YOU LOOOOOOOOVE MEEEEEEEEE?”
I mean, let’s just start with the fact that in Dean Lonergan’s head, “going on the radio to call Liz Hurley hot” directly correlates to “strong leader and good family man”. As Danyl put it, I don’t think one needs to be a feminist, or even particularly liberal, to wonder how the fuck that works.
But what I think we really need to take from this is the utter, utter cluelessness of patriarchy some time. Yes, yes, it’s a common trope to try to write off feminists as “jealous” – “you’re just into fat acceptance because you’re ugly, you criticise rape culture because no one will fuck you” etc. etc. But seriously? We’re actually meant to buy that as some stinging criticism of Sue Kedgley? That’s meant to somehow invalidate what she says, because she’s obviously just jealous she didn’t make a list populated by conventionally-hot celebrities? That was the best line you could come up with?
I ‘m feeling the need to go have a wash after writing this, so just a final thought: how much can we read carefully-engineered Crosby/Textor influences into the fact that all smile-and-wave’s celebrity crushes are brunettes, just like his “childhood sweetheart” Bronagh?
And guess what, NZGirl* and others, it’s not because boobs are great!
Boobs are great.
But that’s seriously not the fucking point.
Likewise, I may very well love my partner’s cock, but the reason I will ensure he gets his prostate checked is not because I would miss his cock.** It’s because cancer is bad and can be fatal and I don’t need to justify my concern or “sell” it to anyone by proclaiming that we should Save Fellatio and Get The Boys Out For The Boys and You Shove A Finger Up There Or I Will!
Scuba Nurse has done a most excellent, hard-hitting, [trigger warning for probably NSFW images and discussion of cancer] post about the realities of breast cancer.
Bet you none of those pics make it onto NZGirl’s page of “pretty titties”.
For bonus fail, NZGirl’s stunning strategy to stop their pages being hijacked by bullies, stalkers and vengeful exes is a simple “you must agree to our terms and conditions” button. How quaint.***
For BONUS bonus fail, the terms and conditions likewise notes:
For every 50 completed, qualifying entries of boobs submitted to the nzgirl “Our favourite: Breasts” campaign, nzgirl agrees to donate $1000 to breast cancer research up to a maximum pledge of $5000 (or 250 pairs).
Because when you’re “mobilising” people to “awareness” of breast cancer, you definitely want to assume that everyone’s breasts come in pairs.
*Truly, never has the notion of referring to grown women as “girls” and pretending it’s playful and fun instead of infantilising been better crystallized for me.
**Or lament cock-related complications from prostate cancer.
***One can only assume no one on the NZGirl staff has ever downloaded or installed any piece of software ever.