Tagged: nice guys aren’t
Beautiful trifecta: Moff’s Law, Victorian art and snarking PUAs
Moff’s Law states, in a roundabout way, that critical discussions of art and entertainment will inevitably attract a commenter who says something like “it’s just a [book/movie/TV show/artwork], why do you have to analyse it???” and further that said commenter should shut the fuck up.
Because analysing art and entertainment actually makes it more fun for a lot of people.
Today’s fantastic example of this comes from Tumblr:
She is upset, devastated in a way that one is only when someone has died. And the guy’s still bothering her, like her problems are flippant bullshit and she needs to just smile or pay attention to him because ladies are supposed to be pleasing for men no matter what shit they’re going through.
19th-century art as a gateway to critiquing the “pick-up artist” movement. Brilliant.
Wish fulfilment: negging edition
I’m trying to get myself blogging more regularly again- does it show? So expect a few more not-really-posts like this one, which chiefly exists to plug an xkcd comic!
Gods forbid I admit that occasionally my critics have a tiny, weeny little stub of a point (gosh I’m subtle) but sometimes things can all seem a bit negative and angry-making in the QoT ‘verse … mainly I blame that on having a decent level of awareness of the bullshit around us, and succumbing to mainstream media too often. Anyway, the upshot is it’s good to laugh.
And it’s good, even in 2d comic form, to see douchebags get their comeuppance for once.
Spoon recovery time
It has been a bit of a last couple of days. Here’s some emotional release via videos.
I mean, would it kill me to be civil?
The classic It Gets Worse PSA (warning: autoplays) because really, who wants to be on the wrong side of history?
Jon Stewart should probably also watch his tone and ask Tucker Carlson nicely to have a sense of fucking integrity:
And now, let’s just thrash it out with one of the best theme tune covers of all time.
Why chicks dig “jerks”
George Sodini walked into a fitness club and killed three women, injured nine, and then took his own life.
He put this down to women not being attracted to him.
There’s a lot being written about his sense of entitlement (or rather, the exaggerated nature of a sense of entitlement hardly unique to him). And a lot of people uncritically quoting the line from his blog about calculating exactly how many million “desirable” women there were (Lord knows he wasn’t bitter about the ugly “hoes” who weren’t putting out). And of course, the Nice Guy (TM) phenomenon is getting a bit of attention; and this article at Salon gave me an eye-opening moment.
Because we’re taught to be polite, submissive, and generous even when men are making us uncomfortable, we automatically reach for the “nice guy, but…” out….
Guys, you are not being rejected because you are too nice. Niceness is a positive characteristic. I doubt any straight woman — even the kind with a stated preference for “bad boys” — has ever said to herself, “Hmm, I’d be really into this guy if he weren’t so compassionate, thoughtful, and respectful. If he’d just dick me around and insult me a little more, I’d want to rip his clothes off.” If you get rejected by every woman you approach, the problem could be a million different things, but I guarantee it’s not that you’re just too kind for your own good.
There’s an ancient, but pointed, joke.
Q. What’s the difference between a slut and a bitch?
A. A slut is a woman who sleeps with everyone. A bitch is a woman who sleeps with everyone except you.
Suddenly, reading the Salon article, the skies parted, angels sang in heavenly chorus, and BOOM! Epiphany.
Listen up, Nice Guys: the idea you cling to, that women only like jerks/assholes/bad boys?
Is totally valid.
When your definition of “jerk” is “guy currently fucking the woman you want to fuck“.
And if you’re the kind of guy who conceptualizes women as a binary of “do/do not want to fuck”, and perceives all other men – especially men currently in relationships with women in the first category – then guess what?
We’re probably saying “you’re a nice guy, but …” because you give off a fucking creepy vibe and we do not want to have a confrontation with your insecurity and belief that you are owed sex by the universe.
And that’s on top of the fact that as women we’ve probably been told from day 1 of our existences to be demure/polite/quiet/dignified/submissive/accepting/passive/accommodating/to not make a fuss/cause a scene/disturb other people/shriek/nag/bitch/be shrill/loud/assertive/independent/strong/autonomous.
Not that that’ll be taken into consideration when we’re sexually harassed by higher-status influential rich white men or anything.