Blame for this may be entirely laid at the feet of Rhinocrates, NZ Femme and V de Plume. May it serve you well in future headdesk-worthy “debates” with people who keep insisting they’re our allies, now could we please shut up and let them tell us what we want?
[A bingo board of white-and-purple squares, saying: Wait until we win the election! / That’s not a tier one issue / I know I’m banned but … / We already have laws against discrimination / Boutique Identity Politics / That only helps a tiny minority / Let me explain basic politics to you / Of course we all hate sexism, you oversensitive bitch / Rightwing pundits don’t like that / Stop making personal attacks you bitch / You need counselling / That won’t win votes / FREE SQUARE / I’m on your side! / I’m leaving this conversation!!! / Rights are a zero-sum game / We HAVE to focus on the economy (so shut up) / You can have five minutes / That’s just in your head / I’m leaving this conversation THIS TIME!!! / Let’s just agree to disagree / Silencing white male trolls is censorship / But as a redheaded vegan, I have an identity too! / We’re all just ~people~ / You’re scaring away swing voters]
By now you’ve probably heard about the Danish MP, Marie Krarup, and her racist little commentary on traditional Māori welcomes.
Hopefully, you’ve been following the sovereign rule of the internet in such matters, i.e. Do Not Read The Comments. But if you’re as much of a masochist for privileged whining as I am, here’s a handy bingo board which might make the exercise a little more amusing. Every single square can be hit just in the comments on Breakfast’s Facebook page.
Sadly, I had created this before reading Colin Craig’s “are you really really really sure this isn’t a parody?” defence of Krarup, but on reflection, it’s an entire bingo board of its own, and all of the squares read “Oh my god, you can’t just ask people why they’re so white.”
Bingo squares read, left to right, top to bottom: Māori are naturally angry, listen to Willy and JT on talkback; Don’t blame her, blame her political advisors; She’s not really putting down Māori culture, read between the lines; Māori culture wasn’t meant to be civilised; Danish people are just naturally blunt; There’s way to much Māori culture around anyway; We should stop living in the past and making whitey feel ashamed; Really, who are we to judge?; She’s just one person – getting widespread media coverage; Well it is rude to poke your nose in other people’s faces; She must have just been poorly translated; Even Captain Cook thought Māori were aggressive; FREE SQUARE: I think Danish people are barbaric, so take that!; What about freedom of speech?; Stop forcing your beliefs on the poor white woman!; Can’t we white people take criticism maturely as a country?; You can’t expect her to learn about the culture of a country she’s visiting; You wouldn’t be complaining if Paul Henry said it!; The poor woman just didn’t understand, that’s all; Why can’t we spend more time focusing on European culture?; But powhiri are screamy and scary; Her comments are totally bad – because it’ll damage our tourism industry; Māori are a minority so their culture doesn’t count anyway; Really we should take it as a compliment; Well they did kill the Moriori