A study in blogging while leftwing-and-feminist

Yesterday I made this post, both here and at The Standard. It was born of my frustration with the number of leftwing men who are still complaining about identity politics like they only just learned the phrase, still demanding that 100% of the left’s collective time and thought be about their personal issues, still basically crying like babies who are being asked to share their toys.

And the response pretty much proved my point.

I was told that their actions – which multiple other people had observed and commented on – were “in my head”.  I was told I needed to “get counselling”.  A comment was left here saying:

All fat hags should be neither seen nor heard.

My attempts at moderation – in hardly more aggressive terms than people like lprent normally dole out – were point-blank ignored, and labelled “censorship”.

I was cast as some “other blogger” who was imposing my terrible, bullying will on The Standard, normally such a genteel place.  The irony of that last point is that a mere day earlier, people had rallied around a comment which praised The Standard for being a more rough-and-tumble place.  Somehow it’s different when it’s a sweary woman doing it, isn’t it?

But of course it was really me who was silencing people, by objecting to their insistence that I be silent.

Of course I, and other commenters who agreed with me, needed to have basic democratic politics (“you see, we need to win elections in order to have the power to do things and the right don’t want us to win“) explained to us, because our ladybrains were just too confused.

And the conversation has carried on in other threads where people want to make it very clear that they are the reasonable, thoughtful ones who totally would agree with me if I wasn’t so goshdarned mean.

This is a standard (couldn’t help myself) day in the life of a feminist blogger on a leftwing site.  This is exactly what I tried to explain.  But I guess maybe we need yet another election where Labour’s woolly-headed waffle and stamping down on “identity groups” nets them another three years on the Opposition benches before the boys will listen.

My thanks to karol and weka, who have been allies in this conversation.


  1. V (verbscape)


    …okay I’m good.

  2. Allan Alach

    Ignore the trolls. Your posting was extremely pertinent and I’ve quoted you in my latest Daily Blog article “Whatever it takes.’

  3. Northshoreguynz

    I have a feeling QOT, that a lot of otherwise sensible men would rather spends another 3 years in opposition that admit to being wrong and dickheads to boot.

  4. MeToo

    I was reading The Standard comments last night while watching Made in Dagenham on the tele; LOLed when the men told the women their fight for equal pay wasn’t part of the wider union strategy and they just had to wait for the fight for working men’s rights to be won and THEN their turn would come…. That was 1968. So what has changed?

    Actually, I think lots of the guys are still fighting 1984 instead of looking at the present and to the future.

    • QoT

      It’s the same damn thing every time, isn’t it? It becomes most obvious when you try to deal with significant, real-life harm perpetuated by leftwing men (see the whole John Minto/Omar Hamed thing) and there are parallels in online atheist and geek communities: basically, a bunch of predominantly hetero white dudes at the top who egotistically insist that they’re above petty kyriarchal prejudices.

    • QoT

      I do worry that having to actually deal with people like Hooton face-to-face would leave me gobsmacked into incoherence, but it’s a nice thought.

      • adam white

        Don’t under value yourself – your are a leading light on a working left. Your insightful, reflective and have this great ability to cut through all the shit – I think the right wing media pundits would be staining their pants if they thought they had to got 10 minutes with you.

  5. just saying

    It’s been tiring enough just reading it all.
    Bravo to you and Weka and Karol for continuing to bat the ball back.
    Me – I lose the energy to breathe, let alone carry on the conversation. But you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
    Who knew relentless hypocrisy could be so fucking boring?

  6. Hopeful

    Your post was a great way to start the year, QoT – despite all the male shennigans – I’ve passed it on to others too.

  7. NZ Femme

    I’ve been completely sidetracked for the last few days by Captain Awkward who I’d never come across before you linked there in your recent post. As in, have been reading from the first post circa 2011, to present. I completely missed everything that went down over at TS. Holy Shit. Reading it all, after the bliss of a fully moderated from asshat space, seriously made my eyes bleed.
    After the Roast busters threads over at TS, I had to stop reading there for a while. My adrenal glands were drained.
    Jedi Hugs to you, Weka, and Karol (if you want them). Y’all are my sanity savers.

      • Trianon

        I dunno, I’ve seen some extremely regrettable cisdude bullshit on Captain Awkward, particularly before it was declared to be not a 101 space.

        • QoT

          It definitely isn’t perfect, but these days I think it’s pretty good. Sometimes shitty comments still get through, but CA is good at challenging it when it does.

        • Trianon

          I stopped reading when the Captain was bulled by some fedora guy into apologising for telling him it wasn’t OK for him to impose on women who show no sign of being attracted to him.

  8. rhinocrates

    Well, I can see the Bullshit Bingo grid assembling itself: Wait your turn, It’s a vote-loser, The right wing pundits don’t like it and we need them on our side, Rights are a zero-sum game and any gain for anyone who isn’t a DWEM is anti-male, It’s the economy stupid, The law already forbids discrimination so what’s your problem?, We’ll listen to you for five minutes, That’s important but X is more important, It only matters to a tiny minority…

    • QoT

      Would you believe I got about ten minutes into constructing exactly this bingo board, and then decided it wasn’t worth the spoons?

    • NZ Femme

      Yes! Adding to the Bingo Card (It needs giant glittery pink squares)
      *You’re a big meanie poo who will cause the entire readership of TS to disperse into the ether.
      *You will curse the election if you say the magical words: LGBTQ, women’s stuff, Ethnicity, privilege, White Heterosexual Cis Dude, or [insert *Boutique Issue (TM)*]

      NB – designating what constitutes a *Boutique Issue (TM)* to be done by anyone not described by the former magical words listed.

      • NZ Femme

        NB 2 – Unless you happen to be *white Het Cis Dude* or *Het Cis Dude* In which case have at the designating.

      • QoT

        He’s got a point, you know. We clearly spend all our time looking at the minor details of our oppression. If only we had a hetero white man to come up with concepts like patriarchy and kyriarchy to help explain it all!

        (I love the irony in this situation where a lot of leftwing dudes have clearly never learned that Engels actually wrote quite a bit on how the traditional family structure benefits capitalism and has to be dismantled for true communism to occur.)

  9. Anonymouse in Oztraya

    Oh geez, “don’t read the comments” territory. Although I have to laugh when someone accuses me of being a lesbian. Right on, brother.

    I rarely read the Standard or TDB except when you or someone similar links to them, because they’re left but…

    Kia kaha, and thanks for all your work. And the “fat sweaty hag” just made me think “she wouldn’t be so sweaty and haggard if she wasn’t working so hard trying to educate you b’stards”.

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