A very important contribution to our current discussion of rape culture

This comment is just so important, so original and such a game-changer that I wanted it to have its own space:

This isn’t going to go over well, so you might as well get angry before I even get to my point. As a male the problem I have with feminism is that the word and the attitudes of many who self identify with it implies elevating females and female causes above males. There are plenty of doucebag males and cowed females, and that’s societies stereotypical fantasy of New Zealand, but in my experience there are just as many, if not more, dominant and even douchey females and cowed males. I’m all for equality and fairness, and I’d love to see any systemic gender inequalities New Zealand still has corrected, but there are inequalities in both directions and I cannot believe that any equality can be brought about by promoting one gender/race/religion/sexual orientation/etc over any other.

Oh, Anon.  I’m so sad that you think so little of me.  How could I possibly get angry with such a thoughtful, insightful comment?  Truly, when our nation is experiencing a cultural shift around our treatment of sexual assault survivors, when we’re having serious conversations about victim-blaming and power structures which allow rapists to walk free …

Wow.  You’re so right.  What we should really be talking about is how some mean feminist women don’t give you a boner.

I ‘m not mad, Anon.  You’ve opened my eyes, man.  This is a whole new day in the life of Queen of Thorns, and I shall go forward and feminist no more.

Thank you for educating me about the real nature of feminism.

May I do you a favour in return?  I feel like we’re really friends now.  We’re on the same level, you know?  And I want to help you like you’ve helped me.

Maybe you – and every other person who has, in the past week, made comments like “let’s remember we have to be anti-rape, not anti-men!” or “it’s unfair to act like all men are scary rapists” or “freedom of speech!” – could take some time out and ponder the following questions:

  • When people are discussing rape culture, why is your first response to downplay it?
  • When we are faced with a very real case of a gang of rapists preying on young women, why is your first response to start talking about mean women who “cow” men?
  • Do you think you’re just terrified of having to act like a grown-up when negotiating sex with a partner, instead of relying on alcohol and peer pressure to get your wick dipped?
  • Or do you not want your previous sexual partners to start feeling more comfortable using the r-word to describe your coercive, abusive behaviours?

This might not go over well with you, but don’t get angry, I’m just expressing my problem with rape-excusing women-hating doucebags [sic].

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