No, seriously, I can’t make this shit up.
Rugby is a game played by most boys in New Zealand in their childhood, though some don’t want to play it at all. A significant section of the community have always preferred to play a different sport, like soccer. But Rugby gets all the status in New Zealand, commanding all the respect. So much so that those who play soccer are often made to feel like second-class citizens. They lack the mana of those who play the nation’s revered game. Reliable studies show that this has statistically led to a higher degree of depression among soccer playing boys, and already our rate of male youth suicide is far too high.
Yep. Marriage is just like choosing to pick up a ball and throwing it backwards, and lol, let’s use youth suicide as a punchline because obviously our continued statements about gay people being unnatural, confused, less valuable to society and unworthy to be considered fully equal can’t be having any kind of effect on suicide at all. Mind you, given what we know about US fundy attitudes to gay kids killing themselves, it isn’t a surprise. It’s just contemptible. And if it’s not deliberately vicious, it’s really, really shittily timed. But remember, Bob and Colin are the guys who care about our children and families. Bob, I can’t believe this hasn’t happened already, but you’re Officially Scum. H/T Protect Marriage Equality on Facebook. More responses via GayNZ.com.
EDITED TO ADD: The post on FF’s website now reads “(Author Unknown”) at the top. Please compare and contrast with the screenshot below and rate Bob’s level of backtracking bullshit out of 10.EDITED EDITED TO ADD ADD: And now there’s a wonderful fauxpology at the bottom:
UPDATE: Please note that we have removed the reference to suicide in this satirical piece. In light of horrendous stats on suicide just released, it was an inappropriate reference. The piece was sent to us – we didn’t write it – but we should have vetted it better. We apologise for any offense the reference may have caused. It was certainly not our intention.
Look, the reference is only inappropriate, and only because of the statistics release – not because our actual suicide statistics are actually horrific. Also, obviously, they only apologise for any offence [it] may have caused – because quite obviously they’ve only stuck this fauxpology up randomly, and not because they’ve received any actual backlash or anything.
And Family First, clearly, just loves posting poorly-written shit sent to them anonymously. Their only real crime was “not vetting it properly”, where “vetting” is an archaic term for “reading”.
And if you believe all that, I have a big pile of bullshit to sell you. No metaphor can really do it justice.