Does David Cunliffe have a secret army of ninja warriors training in the Waitakere ranges? An underground volcanic lair? Has he implanted Trevor Mallard with a miniature explosive which will be triggered if he ever experiences a moment of true happiness?
Seriously, these are the only conclusions I can draw. I feel like finding whichever senior, probably safe-electorate-seat veterans who know they’ll be collecting a Parliamentary paycheque till the day they die, MPs talked shit to Duncan Garner and slap them upside the head, screaming “YOU DO GET THAT HE LOST, RIGHT?”
I mean, Shearer’s in charge, right? And the big Labour Party reforms are basically going to cement his leadership in place, right? So why the need to tear him down, and why pick that most cliched of leadership-challenge moments, When He’s Overseas, to do it?
It’s just a bit fucking pathetic, is what it is.
Meanwhile, the Glorious Golden Saviour of Labour has been making more dire speeches. This one was to the heartland. I can tell by the way he says “heartland” 18 times in a 2,900-word speech (that’s 3 times per page in a 10-pt Word doc.) Truly inspiring Sam Seaborn-esque lines include:
We need the heartland of New Zealand to succeed. If it doesn’t succeed, New Zealand won’t succeed.
One of their points is that here is no shortage of ideas and strategy and documents, and most of them contain sound advice full of proposals for incremental change that will, taken together, add up to a big difference.
Remember, it’s all in the painfully. Slow. And thoughtful. Way you over-pronounce it.