Family First launches awesome election tool. 4 srs.

And I’m not talking about Bob McCoskrie’s boner, though I’m sure somehow, somewhere, he is.

The trick is to remember that the Value Your Vote site was built on Opposite Day so the smiley faces are bad things.

Of course, that’s not entirely true, since they’ve got the usual range of “family issues” covered, i.e. a strange mishmash of Christian fundamentalist morality (abortion, euthanasia, prostitution) and God-focused anticapitalism,e.g. voting against Easter trading gets a smiley face because it’s an important Judeo-Christian holiday.

Nevertheless, the podium for voting history is occupied by Dunne, Brash and Peters, and on a candidate survey basis, Peters/Brash/Dunne, with the leaders of the Maori, Mana and Labour Parties rockin’ the low end of the scale.

I suppose one could get antsy about the obvious bias etc, but in all seriousness, chur, Family First;  it is actually a democratic good for people to be able to discover candidates’ views on divisive issues like abortion, prostitution, gay marriage, and … whether all billboards should have to be rated G (even if one is immediately reminded of the Jonas Brothers using-purity-rings-to-sll-sex-to-children episode of South Park, and is forced to wonder how precisely’s excellent “All our customers do is scream and moan” would fare, unles the word “sex” itself is deemed un-G).

The McCroskie himself says,

“We are pleased to offer this resource to assist families in making an informed choice at the polling booth this November.”

Taken out of the context of his usual preachy wank, I am compelled to say: that man deserves a DB.



  1. MJ

    I am currently reading this out to the flat, Dramatic Reading style. Conclusions we have come to thus far include:

    -Someone needs to suggest to Bob McCroskie that he ban non-marital fornication within 50 feet of ~the children~ (whom we are so often thinking of).
    -WE CAN’T TELL FAMILY FIRST’S POSITION ON EUTHANASIA OR SURROGACY. How do we know whether to follow the smiley faces or the frowny faces? D:
    -Family first has a very strange opinion on where hyphens belong in some words. His-torical, natch.
    -John Key, when Winston fucking Peters doesn’t support an abstinence-based program and you do, I am severely disappointed in you.

    The fact that it’s Family First and all levels of bias aside, this is a bloody great resource in terms of looking at the issues that are important to me. So cheers, Bob McCroskie! (I feel slightly unclean just writing that.)

    • QoT

      It’s definitely an unclean day for us all. But thankfully we were already filthy heathens so it won’t show too much.

  2. toad

    I am really really really happy that this one electoral survey in which the Greens have been assessed poorly.

    Seems Bob McCoskrie’s boner needs a Family Fist to do its stuff!

    • Moz

      Especially not in the southern hemisphere.

      I do still like the whole idea of celebrating the midwinter solstice with snow and stuff in Australia where it basically doesn’t ever snow. Especially celebrating it in midsummer out of a perverse desire not to admit that that’s what it is. It makes the “Queen’s Birthday” thing seem positively rational.

      Sorry, we were talking about rationality and Bib McCoskrie. As you were.

      • Chally

        I actually meant that Jews don’t celebrate Easter and frequently protest against the term “Judeo-Christian” in general, but fair point, too!

        I still find it really odd that people shouldn’t be allowed to open their businesses on whatever days they want, if there are workers willing to work on their or other people’s religious days…

  3. Julie Fairey (Other Julie)

    Not sure if they’ve cleaned it up now, but there were quite a lot of errors in terms of matching up names and faces and seats and stuff. E.g. picture of Jacinda Ardern, but Kate Sutton for the name, and then what must have been Jacinda’s voting record given Kate isn’t an MP yet. I think there may have been a similar mix-up for Paul Goldsmith/Rodney Hide, possibly others.