CLITORIS CLITORIS CLITORIS
Clearly the media meme of the month is “won’t someone think of the children, and the imaginary innocence we ascribe to them in order to justify our lack of openness about basic anatomy because it’s ~icky~?”
First up there’s a lovely example of modern journalism at work, where Elizabeth Binning decides to take the story of a young woman who was given good, comprehensive sex education with an emphasis on consent and full information about alternatives to cock-in-vag intercourse, who was then “taken advantage of” by an older man while drunk …
and turn it into SEX EDUCATION WILL KNOCK UP YOUR CHILDREN!!!!!!!
Students may wish to pay special attention to the interesting line Elizabeth Binning wants to draw between some mythical, pure “sex education” and the Disgusting Filth That Is Indoctrinating Our Children, particularly with the use of this quote:
When my mother signed the consent, she thought it was signing her way to her child knowing about reproduction and the actual human anatomy side of reproduction, not the methods on how it’s done.
Forgive me if this is a little TMI, but in my household, “actual human anatomy” and “how [sex is] done” are pretty much intertwined.
This is the panic: that we’re no longer presenting Innocent Children with sterile, confusing, infantilizing and denn da man puts his peeeenis into da wumman’s va-jay-jay and denn da babby comes out* “education”. We’re actually acknowledging that they have bodies and that doing certain things with their bodies feels good and that there’s a fuckload more to it that some disembodied cock in vag in a vacuum = babies.
Fuck me, so to speak, it’s almost like we’re acknowledging that puberty is a thing where, in general, hormones do shit and incite emotions and things get a bit confusing, and maybe we can help kids through that by being simply honest about the reality of sex.
[And just to restate the obvious, that bland, safe “sex education” that we’re apparently missing? Doesn’t do sweet fuck all for trans kids, kids dealing with same-sex or bisexual attraction, etc etc.]
Elizabeth Binning was clearly in the “middle-class outrage stories” seat this week because yesterday the story was all about the tragedy of a father discovering his son had been taught about … the clitoris. Why, the class went so far as to insinuate that playing with a person’s clitoris can be a fun thing for both parties! [Though as LadyNews points out, it’s not *all* good.]
The high point of that one is lumping together “learning that oral sex may not always lead to intercourse” (gasp, faint), “learning that anal sex is an option” (when we all know the anus only has nerves because God wants us to be reminded of our disgusting biology every type we poop) with this particular horror:
Students also lay on the floor together with their eyes shut imagining the world was predominantly gay.
Followed immediately by the sentence:
The father said his son was too young to be given such graphic sex education and had come home upset.
Yep, that’s graphic all right. Challenging society’s rampant heteronormativity by getting the kids to visualise, probably for all of a minute, a world where the hets aren’t in charge. Truly, that’s some scary stuff right there.
Cue the entirely-coincidental Kiwi Party press release:
“Do you want your 14 year old daughter or grand-daughter to be taught in our schools how to apply “yucky and sticky condoms to a black plastic penis?” asks outraged grandmother Simonne Dyer deputy leader of the Kiwi Party after reading the lead story in this morning’s Herald.
One merely raises a sardonic eyebrow at the specificity of the black “plastic penis” (normal people call them “dildos”). And I’ve got to say, I share some of this outrage. The boys can bloody well learn how to put on condoms too.
You can guess how it goes from there, permissive society, parents’ rights, yadda yadda.
But these are simply the facts:
Teenagers are going to fuck.
Teenagers who fuck have every right to be aware of their options to protect themselves from sexually transmitted disease including and unplanned pregnancy.
Teenagers who manage to get to the fucking stage without already having absorbed ideas about their bodies being disgusting and their pleasurable feelings being evil? Deserve a pat on the fucking back along with their comprehensive sex education.
And when teenagers like the young woman in the first story are taught about the importance of consent, and then are “taken advantage of” by older men who presumably didn’t get that memo in high school, I don’t think it’s her attitude I’m going to have a fucking go at.
Oh, and “grubby dad”? Your son thinks girls are “yuck”? I can’t imagine where he picked up that attitude.**
~
*Simmer down, quiltbaggers, only heterosexual cisgender people have intercourse.
**QoT has no fucking time for the notion that boys and girls are naturally repellent to each other during puberty.
Homework: consider the links between the idea that we should never discuss icky sex with our children, and the continual refrain of “save families from filthy prostitution” from the same wankstains. Sex: to fundies, just acknowledging it happens a lot (or at all) makes you a big fat sinner.
Ideologically Impure 
This is pretty much perfect. Thank you for writing this.
And when I say “pretty much” I mean “totes and definitely”.
Thank you! Really I just wanted an excuse to write “CLITORIS CLITORIS CLITORIS” because there’s nothing wrong with having an open attitude to sex AND being ridiculously immature at the same time.
CLIIIIIIITORIS! (do we even need an excuse?)
Definitely not!
Brilliant post QoT.
Kids / teenagers are always going to play with each others clitorises and penises, as well as their own, because that is what nature gave us lots of sensitive nerves that give enjoyment in those bits for.
Sex is great fun, either with a partner or alone, so parents should let kids and teenagers enjoy too – but ensure they know how to keep themselves safe from adult sexual exploitation, pregnancy and STDs.
Spoken like a true family-hating commie!
Fantastically brilliant rant – a perfect response to utterly incoherent nonsense.
I am totally pro- people being taught that clit-touching can be pleasurable. Seriously, I think it would save some people a lot of confused exploration and let them get right down to business (snicker).
“Students also lay on the floor together with their eyes shut imagining the world was predominantly gay.”
Because heaven forbid we teach dirty things like Gayz!! to the poor innocent children.
I have friends who thought AIDS was something that happened when you “had gay sex” and therefore have shitty sex lives and awkward relationships because sex ed doesn’t contain anything remotely queer. Hell, the most I got was literally “some men are gay,” and the teacher didn’t reprimand the kid who started yelling homophobic abuse from the back of the room. Thanks boarding school!
Just thought I’d add my love here too – while these pieces of “journalism” had much unintentional humour (loving the bit about the yucky sticky condoms…….because yummy slippery ones would be so much better, right 😉
the base messages of bodies being wrong and the less we talk about them, the better is so, so awful.
Hahaha, it really does seem like it’s mostly the blackness of the dildo that bugs her. Bless.
I’m writing a sex ed programme for schools at the moment, so these sensationalising of programmes that are deemed ‘unsuitable’ is GREAT. Perhaps they’ll want me to have a yucky sticky condom pinata and pass the penis, i mean parcel so make it more ‘kid friendly’ 😉
Dont you know that sex is only OK when it’s to make babies, or when its being paid for by a middle aged rich white man? 🙂
Great post btw, sorta sums up how I feel.
You came close to owing me a new keyboard for that strikeout of “including” unplanned preg instead I saved it by snorting the coffee. bleah.
Kiwi Party has as one of their “principles”
2.15 MEDIA:
…must therefore maintain high standards and make responsible, impartial and accurate choices when considering the content of programming and publications, especially in relation to sexuality, language, alcohol, drug use, violence, and inter-racial relationships..
How quaint to use a static dildo. [que Beach Boys: Good, good, good…]
Ah yes, the Kiwi Party’s racism doesn’t get nearly enough play.
I hope your keyboard thanks you for the coffee-snorting sacrifice, that sounds a tad yuck.
Perfect post as always, QoT.
“Simmer down, quiltbaggers, only heterosexual cisgender people have intercourse.”
One has to wonder how I can be a filthy brazen slut in this case, given my utter lack of heterosexualness. 😉
The glory of a fundie patriarchal viewpoint is being able to accept simultaneously that women can’t actually have sex with other women but are also giant sluts.
Well, sex is for the sole purpose of pleasuring men (I don’t think I could make that statement on a better-titled post) and consists solely of the penis entering the vagina. So obviously I can’t have sex with other women.
But you *can* still be a terrible slut, by virtue of having an unashamed good time with other people. Which is Bad And Wrong. Problem solved!
And I’m guessing that trans women are slutty tranny hookers, regardless of orientation, or even whether or not they have actually ever had sex.
I think it’s safe to assume that to people like the Kiwi Party, trans people are by definition filthy perverts. I will always treasure the memory of the look on Brian Tamaki’s face when, on … Eye to Eye? I think … Georgina Beyer broke the news to him that she could, in fact, legally marry any man she wanted to (pre-civil union law reform).
I remember that moment well! It’s as pricelesss as the look on Raybon Kan’s face when he was shown a speculum by (I think) Ginette Mcdonald during a similar Women vs Men debate.
They are jealous because if you go to the right surgeon, you get a bonus second external clit-like stimulatory spot. So they have TWICE the reason to hate us for pleasure!
I’ve heard of this clitoris somewhere. I don’t know what it is, but I’m sure if it was important, my school would have told me about it. Education in Australia is so thorough. Look at all the binge drinking, for example. We all know how to get totally wasted, thanks to our love of learning and self awareness.
@Jamie:
You mean the Chonburi Organ? That’s actually functions more like a G-spot and not much like a clitoris at all.
I know, because I have one 🙂
Hi Scar,
Just FYI I just let one of your comments through since the other was almost identical. 🙂
Yay Suporn girls! *hi5* I actually get far more sensativity there than on my clit, so I suppose I can only speak for myself, and heavens knows I’m atypical in every conceivable way! =)
That’s…far more information than I’d be willing to share!
I don’t think I’ve ever met a trans woman who wasn’t atypical in every conceivable way, tbh.
OoT, is it right to call such Christian-bigot people “Ned Flanders’ types” or is that an insult to Ned Flanders?
I don’t know, Paul, I think Ned was always portrayed as a kind and well-meaning, if over-the-top, person of faith. Not that The Simpsons ever really touched on serious moral issues with any complexity.
Love this post! Too many kids these days go completely uneducated about sex and that it is OKAY to have feelings for just about anyone or anything…. We all get horny and it’s all natural!
xoxo Kim