Clare Curran is the reason I will not vote Labour

ETA: Clare Curran has apologised, hat-tip to NRT.  Of course, interestingly it’s about her intentions, which are of course magical, doesn’t refute the idea that Labour does feel entitled to votes (only that she didn’t want to make that argument) and would prefer to bag the Greens than do something about it, and provides a nice platform for people to continue rolling out the “who cares about stupid armchair bloggers anyway???” barrel.  Oh, and no mention of referring to critics as “feral”.  But one supposes it’s a start.


… and that’s only slightly hyperbolic and somewhat metaphorical.

Sauce: NRT and matching wine: Dim-Post.

Recent polls have put Labour in the mid-20s.  Which is obviously bad.  It probably means you’re down to the absolute core of people whom you could wheel semi-comatose into a voting booth and they’d manage to tick the red box through sheer force of will.

And I totally understand that as a geeky politically-sarcastic blogger, I am by no means the “middle New Zealand” or the “swing” vote that Labour has lost along with the large proportion of lefties who would honestly rather risk a second NACT term than return the current pack to the Beehive.

But seriously.  How long has Labour, and some of its supporters in the blogosphere, been trying this fucking pathetic “OMG HDU VOTE 4 SUM 1 ELS????” line?  How has it not yet sunk in that you are not our dad, we don’t have to listen to you, and your entitled fucking attitude might just have the tiniest bit to do with our continued lack of interest?

It’s certainly not just Clare Curran, though she’s got the best online history of this, including awesome posts about how everyone should just shut up and pitch in, as though we’re still in a two-party FPP system where there are no alternatives for an angry leftie/progressive.  And it’s really awesome to see a party’s technology spokesperson, the one who’s meant to be all internet-savvy, resort to tired old cliches about how anyone who comments on a blog must by default be a reclusive shut-in with no life and no real friends who never does anything.

It’s also the awesome hypocrisy.  Attacking other members of the left for nicking your rightful votes, while releasing those parties’ decade-old policies as your own with a wide-eyed, “Oh look!  A completely original and earthshaking idea which surely shows how brilliant we are!”  Attacking Idiot/Savant (you know, that guy whose spreadsheets of currently-lodged, previously-lodged and to-be-lodged-in-future-depending-on-results-of-currently-lodged OIA requests could, I assume, save any Excel nerd from ever needing aphrodisiacs) for doing nothing while your own campaign manager has spent a hard day out-cycling a pondscum blogger whose irrelevancy would be a lot easier to throw in the media’s face if only you’d stop fucking dignifying him.

And as always, it’s the amazing ability I have to predict the future.  To know with absolute certainty that when Labour don’t roll Goff, don’t shake up their front bench, don’t make any effort to bring back the alienated left,* they will be on Red Alert the next day having a whinge because why don’t we stupid people realise that our votes are theirs out of manifest destiny.

The 2000 US election was a key part of my teenaged political development.  I could sympathise, a little, with Democrats’ anger at Ralph Nader’s temerity, “stealing” rightful D votes in an entrenched two-party system.  You don’t have that excuse, Labour.  This is New Zealand’s sixth MMP election.  We have options, and you really have to stop acting surprised when we use them.

ETA:  This just in:  I am part of National’s “cadre of attack bloggers”, apparently along with Lew, Danyl, and Russell Brown.


*I assume that unless John Key’s mansion is discovered to have a basement corpse collection rivalling that of John Wayne Gacy, the centre will quite happily remain National’s.


  1. Scott

    “This just in: I am part of National’s “cadre of attack bloggers”, apparently along with Lew, Danyl, and Russell Brown.”

    Ah, no. I was thinking more of David Farrar and Cameron Slater when I wrote that.

    • QoT

      Oh, right. You meant, two bloggers who haven’t posted on this at all. Not the leftwing bloggers who actually have. Gosh, that’s not a strawman argument seeking to discredit those criticising your party of choice at all.

      • Scott

        I’m not sure I follow you. I was thinking about Red Alert generally when I made my comment. Farrar and Slater have had plenty to say about it in the past.

        I follow all of the bloggers you accuse me of smearing as National-affiliated, and I would never accuse any of them of being National supporters, because they’re clearly not.

        • QoT

          Which is why your post seemed ridiculously kneejerk-defensive to me, Scott. And when Slater and Farrar have not yet posted on the very specific instance you cite, one which had drawn attention from leftie bloggers, it falls squarely in the category of “if I label a certain type of comment as trollish before it happens, then I win!” blogging.

          Adding to that the whole hand-to-forehead pearl-clutchy “maybe Labour MPs just shouldn’t be nobly, openly blogging AT ALL!!!” cry for compliments and I’m just … not impressed, dude.

        • Ben

          If it’s worth anything from someone you’ve never heard of before…

          My order of readin was: Danyl’s post, Ideologically Impure post, Clare Curran’s post, Imperator Fish’s post.
          My impression after an initial skim: fair enough at having a go at Curran for asinine comments, I did think Imperator Fish was talking generally about Red Alert and specifically about Farrar and Slater though. Though I think the idea of shutting it down was … somewhat short sighted. I assumed the comment about being part of National’s cadre of attack bloggers was sarcasm. Which I generally find to be quite well done on this blog 🙂

    • Craig Ranapia

      Just between us, Scott, Cameron Slater is about as likely to write a post headlined I HEART LABOUR as Te Standard is to endorse “JonKey.” I know Slater is a fashionable (and easy) bogeyman for the left, and I’m certainly not his biggest fan, but I don’t see how he signifies in Curran’s absurd display of political entitlement.

      • Scott

        I’ve never suggested that Slater or Farrar have a duty to write nice things about the left. What I have gtried to do is point out the obvious: Labour keeps putting weapons in the hands of its enemies. If they can’t sort their shit out then they shouldn’t blog.

        • Craig Ranapia

          Quite – but that’s not what Curran is doing. And, frankly, I’m a little surprised that someone who likes to emphasise her PR and political background has epically failed Internet 101. If you show your arse on-line, someone is going to tell you to pull your pants up.

          And, frankly, I think there are too many people in both Labour and National who need to get past the anger and denial stages of grieving for the cosy duopoly on power that existed under FPP. It’s been fifteen years people, so harden the fuck up and learn to play well with the other children. I’m sorry that Curran thinks it’s somehow impertinent of the Greens here and in Oz to… well, be all green and shit and attract voters. Diddums.

        • QoT

          But Craig, is the problem for Labour then that for a start, we have MMP so green-leaning lefties can vote (and probably are already voting) Green, plus Labour has fucked itself thanks to a past of denigrating Green policies and choosing to work with Christian fundies instead of the Greens, so too many people (myself included) find it too awfully cynical for Labour to jump on the green bandwagon now?

        • Ben

          That is what Curran is doing though – It’s a two part blunder, 1) in content of the comment, failing to get over the fact that the Greens are operating as an actual opposition party and are thus attracting votes, and 2) in the fact that the comment was made at all – the PR disaster/failure of Internet 101 as Craig says.
          The first is what I presume Danyl and QoT were rightly put out by and the second, I’m presuming, being what Scott was musing about.

    • Lew

      Damnit. I was wondering when my official Cadre Merch was going to arrive. Being a secret National attack blogger comes with swag, doesn’t it?

      Or at least a couple cases of Chateau Tory I-Can’t-Believe-It’s_Not-Cabernet-Socialism, vintage 2008. Would go a treat with all those babies I would have to start eating.


      • Craig Ranapia

        Pshaw – you losers are totally off trend. Eating babies is so tired. We kick little old ladies while eating the still beating hearts of super cute puppies. Keep up.

        • QoT

          Don’t hate me for loving the comfort food of my youth, Craig. We can’t all ride the cutting edge of foodfashion, it’s too thin.

  2. Scott

    And when Slater and Farrar have not yet posted on the very specific instance you cite

    I wasn’t writing specifically about Curran’s post, but about the many previous instances where Slater and Farrar have used Red Alert to attack Labour. If you are determined to maintain that I was attacking you, Lew and others then I’m not sure there’s much more I can say. And when I saw the Curran post it was abundantly clear to me that both Farrar and Slater would use it to beat Labour over the head with. Which they duly did.

    Adding to that the whole hand-to-forehead pearl-clutchy “maybe Labour MPs just shouldn’t be nobly, openly blogging AT ALL!!!” cry for compliments and I’m just … not impressed, dude.

    My argument wasn’t all that complex. It goes thus: if Labour MPs can’t manage to blog in a way that causes grief to their party, maybe they shouldn’t do it at all. That’s why Red Alert should probably be shut down.

    • QoT

      Oh, Scott. Seriously? I am not “determined” to do anything except point out that in the context you were posting in, when you chose to reference a specific instance (albeit that not being the sole focus of your post), it comes across as seriously desperate-to-deflect-any-criticism of your chosen Party. And anyone reading your post, having already read mine or Danyl’s or any of the comments by Lew or Idiot/Savant or anyone else could fairly read you as stating that *all* that criticism is just an evil coordinated attack from the Evil Right.

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