This is not the “lack of facade” you are looking for

So for your warm-up dose of headdesk, John Key thinks Liz Hurley would be “thrilled” by being on his fucklist “the endorsement”.

Oops, someone didn’t run that line through the “even vaguely believable” and “not phrased like marketing wank” filters.

But it gets better, because “managing director of Mango Communications” Claudia MacDonald would like us all to know:

his comments were “refreshing” to hear from a Prime Minister.

“The days of tightly buttoned-up politicians with carefully managed facades are waning,” she said.

Yes, Ms MacDonald.  John Key appearing on a sporty-bloke radio show to wax lyrical about “dream dates” with three very-mainstream, very-recognisable, basically ubiquitously-agreed-as-conventionally-attractive women who all happen to have the same colour hair as his wife* has absolutely nothing to do with maintaining a carefully-managed facade which hides the fact he’s a boring old financier who un-ironically uses awkward, dated phrases like “party central” when he goes off-script.

I can only hope Mango Communications’ clients are as woefully oblivious as you or business could be in for a rough patch …

~

*Couldn’t risk a “John Key prefers blondes, Bronagh in tears” women’s mag backlash.

7 comments

  1. Robot Pie

    “Thrilled?” to know that a middle aged man fancies her? I think she’d be bored, more likely.

    Did anyone ever ask Helen Clark about the men she’d like to shag? Or Jenny Shipley?

    Mmm, treating pretty women as objects is so refreshing.

    Carefully managed facade my arse.

  4. Gravey

    I was gobsmacked by this.

    I posted a comment on Stuff about it, and a short time later went back to see if they’d published it, only to find they shut down comments after 7 of them.

    When I told wifey about this, and how Veitch agreed with Key about her hotness, wifey’s response was “Ya wanna push her down some stairs too, you wanker”.

    And then we have the pictures Stuff chose to put with it. They could’ve picked any red carpet pics, but they had to show Liz Hurley falling out of her frock. All they were doing is contributing to the objectification.

  5. Amanda

    “Oh shit, employment figures are looking crap…what do we do?”

    “Well, Mister Prime Minister, how do you feel about becoming…A SEX SYMBOL!”

    “Fuck it, I’m desperate, let’s run with it. The mob are dumb enough that they’ll buy it…”

  6. Gravey

    I am sorry this is rather off-topic, but it was just too precious not to share.

    When I posted my comment, I elected to get email alerts of updates to the thread. When Amanda’s arrived (I get it sent to my work address) MailMarshal kicked in.

    I received an email saying:

    “This email has not been delivered to [me] due to the inappropriate nature of the language.

    Please check the content before attempting to resend.

    The recipients that delivery failed for were:
    [me]”

    The email had a log file attached. The log file contained:

    “5964 18:53:44.500 TextCensor triggered: Script Offensive Language (Basic) Triggered in Body Expression: fuck* Triggered 1 times weighting 5 Script Offensive Language (Extensive) Triggered in Body Expression: fuck* Triggered 1 times weighting 60 Script Profanity Porn and Racism Triggered in Body ”

    So I get nicely protected from bad words (they really do care about me, you know) and then promptly get told what the bad words are.

    Stupid fuckers.