Y U JELLUS?: What planet is Dean Lonergan living on?

H/T Danyl and IrishBill who already summed up the immediate WTF factor of this story.

Is it just me or is the idea of our Prime Minister joking around with Tony Vietch (a guy who threw his fiance down the stairs before kicking her in the back) about celebrities he’d like to shag just a little creepy?

Props to Sue Kedgley for calling this shit out, but oh my god does the article get into some seriously bizarre territory:

On the other side of the airwaves, Veitch’s rival breakfast host, former Kiwis league great Dean Lonergan said Key’s comment had made him respect the PM even more. “John Key is a strong leader and a very good family man,” the LiveSport host said.

“Those women who might be upset at his comments are obviously just disappointed they never made John Key’s list and never will.

Um, yeah.  Sue Kedgley definitely lies awake at night, sobbing into a handspun hemp handkerchief, crying out “WHY??? WHY JOHN WHY?  WHY DON’T YOU LOOOOOOOOVE MEEEEEEEEE?”

I mean, let’s just start with the fact that in Dean Lonergan’s head, “going on the radio to call Liz Hurley hot” directly correlates to “strong leader and good family man”.  As Danyl put it, I don’t think one needs to be a feminist, or even particularly liberal, to wonder how the fuck that works.

But what I think we really need to take from this is the utter, utter cluelessness of patriarchy some time.  Yes, yes, it’s a common trope to try to write off feminists as “jealous” – “you’re just into fat acceptance because you’re ugly, you criticise rape culture because no one will fuck you” etc. etc.  But seriously?  We’re actually meant to buy that as some stinging criticism of Sue Kedgley?  That’s meant to somehow invalidate what she says, because she’s obviously just jealous she didn’t make a list populated by conventionally-hot celebrities?  That was the best line you could come up with?

I ‘m feeling the need to go have a wash after writing this, so just a final thought:  how much can we read carefully-engineered Crosby/Textor influences into the fact that all smile-and-wave’s celebrity crushes are brunettes, just like his “childhood sweetheart” Bronagh?


  1. Robot Pie

    Just…what. Seriously. And ‘ew’ as well.

    (The “No one will fuck you” thing confuses me as well. Isn’t one of the points of feminism that women measure themselves by other things than just their ‘fuckability?)

    Also, Dean Lonergan. I can’t even begin to untangle that mess.

  2. Boganette

    What the actual fuck. This makes me want to drink heavily. In all seriousness THIS is the guy LEADING our country. This fucking schoolboy idiot is leading our country.

  3. Amanda

    Ewwww. I can think of other politicians in the world I’d far rather f…

    Actually, no, because I have more than just a ladybrain intent of fuck-first-money-second. I don’t want to hear about the leader of my country objectifying women, and I don’t want his dudebro friends backing him up.

    Fuck on a toast stick. Just EW.

  4. Mr Wainscotting

    If ranking the hotness of women with a convicted woman basher makes you a “very good family man” then I’m proud to be a marriage hating gay.

    I also hate the fact that the Stuff journalist used the line: “Proving he’s a typical Kiwi bloke”

  5. Ari

    The sad thing is that being bisexual I’d probably just get the same stupid line thrown in my face even though key is terrible and so not my type. 😛

    Also, from the number of civil-unions going on I’d have to say very few of “our gays” are marriage-hating. 😉

  6. Octavia

    Oh look, I actually *could* lose more respect for Key.

    “I mean, let’s just start with the fact that in Dean Lonergan’s head, “going on the radio to call Liz Hurley hot” directly correlates to “strong leader and good family man”.”
    Will vomit now.