John Key threatens to throw toys, doesn’t understand how Parliament works

John Key has stated he’ll quit politics if National loses this year’s election.*  Boo fucking hoo.  In any kind of just world this would be reported by our media as a clear sign of where his real commitment lies – and that’s certainly not to effecting important changes or making New Zealand a better place or anything.

But it’s not a just world, which is also why Audrey Young’s journalism gland is so atrophied it allowed this to go without the most basic comment:

He also said he had made it reasonably clear that he did not want to revert to being Opposition leader.

“I don’t think it suits me as a person. I’m not a negative person and a lot of Opposition is negative.

Hey Audrey, do you think a real journo might have dug a little deeper into the fact that our own Prime Minister apparently doesn’t understand what the Opposition is for?**

Yes, Smile&Wave, it’s pretty negative.  Because Opposition is [meant to be] a vital check on governmental power.  It’s the devil’s advocate that views all government policy through an essentially negative lens in order to make sure that it’s not fucked up.

Now I can expect a complete egomaniacal flake like Key to not get that.  It would just be a really awesome late Christmas present if our political journos could figure it out.


*And doesn’t even have the fucking nous to spin that as “respecting the nation’s decision” or “taking personal responsibility for any backlash against National”

**I mean, I get you’re determined to ignore the fact that Key is unrelentingly negative on a constant basis in the House, Audrey, with his constant infantile “LOL UR DUM” responses to serious questions.  But maybe some actual constitutional engagement could help cover that up?


  1. Craig Ranapia

    Um. so was Helen Clark a toy-throwing ignoramus when she not only resigned the leadership of the Labour Party but announced her intention to leave Parliament literally seconds after conceding the 2008 election? (And, incidentally but quite understandably, lied during the campaign that this was ever an option for her and poo-pooed the idea that she was even under consideration to head the UNDP?)

    And as for the idea that its the job of the Opposition to be mindlessly oppositional — well, I’ll call bullshit on that. YMMV, of course, but I’m pretty glad that the Human Rights Amendment Bill 1993 passed with overwhelming majorities on both sides of the House — and will give full credit to both then-associate Health minister Katherine O’Reagan and her Labour shadow, Lianne Dalziel, for doing a lot of work behind the scenes to make that happen.

    I also think New Zealand could do without the kind of opposition we’re seeing from the congressional GOP in Washington — whose sole policy driver seens to be “fuck over Obama any way you can.”

    • QoT

      Helen Clark wasn’t a one-term PM. The Labour loss at the previous election was a pretty clear rejection [though I’m sure we’d disagree on the reasons for it] of her as PM and Labour as a governing party.

      I certainly don’t think the Opposition need to be “mindlessly” oppositional – and of course it’s awesome when a piece of legislation can get through the process and get the support of both sides of the House because that gives it real weight as a nonpartisan piece of law. Unless it’s the repeal of s59 but that’s our media’s love affair with Garth McVicar for you.

      And absolutely Gods save us from US-style “bipartisanship”, though I have to say the GOP wouldn’t enjoy quite the same level of success if the fucking Dems stopped ignoring what happens every. Single. Time. they “reach out” and “try to get a consensus”.

  2. the sprout

    Talking out of that hole in your arse again Craig – at least you’re consistent.

    Clark didn’t resign from Parliament “literally seconds after conceding the 2008 election”, she remained an MP and announced her resignation only after getting the UNDP job.

    Unlike Key, she didn’t she never threatened to resign if she lost, and she didn’t walk away from politics when she no longer enjoyed the aggrandisement of the PM title.

  3. Model Example

    [QoT lest ye think me hypersensitive at times, let the following stand as an sample of the kinds of comments strident women bloggers receive all the time. Cute, but ultimately wearing, which is the point, and which is why I refuse to sit down and shut up and why I am committed to reminding y’all that I am fat, I am fucking sexy, and I am unashamed.]

    Fattius fat fattity fat.

    PS fat arse fat fat

    • Boganette

      *eye-roll* people are morons. I would be so embarrassed at the lack of originality in that comment. Though I suppose it’s different to just “your fat” which is what I get on a fairly regular basis.