So apparently making a post entitled “I am a woman and I enjoy sex” means one’s spam filter will be clogged up with horrid spammy pingbacks from internet “relationship advice” sites until the end of time.
Clearly it thus behooves me to provide some guidance for any poor souls stumbling upon my cuss-filled rants against patriarchal power dynamics – when all they wanted was to know Why He Hasn’t Called and Am I A Slut For Putting Out On The First Date???
To deal to those first two first, he hasn’t called because he was abducted by aliens and their memory-erasure technique is still in beta so he forgot your number along with his close encounter of the fourth kind.
Or he was busy, he’s forgetful, he doesn’t want to come on too strong, he’s avoiding you, he’s a douchebag who’s already in a relationship, and the fact is you can call him and find out. And if he reads a simple “hi, just checking you’re still alive” as Being Too Pushy, he’s a fuckwit who is not worth your time.
And as someone who proudly carries the banner for Prochoice Sluts Who Like Fucking, I’m going to ignore the inherent sex-shaming women’s-behaviour-controlling aspects of the latter question and offer some reassurance: the only thing wrong with fucking on a first date is if you didn’t really want to – because you felt obliged because he picked up the tab, because he was a pushy wanker, whatever (I’m making the assumption on this one that use of the phrase “put out” implies at least a degree of consent).
If he is the kind of rectal haberdasher who will happily fuck you and then declare you’re not “relationship material” because you engaged in consensual sex? See “fuckwit, not worth your time” above.
And the same goes if you’re not a hetero woman and the person you’re worried about isn’t a hetero man. Because treating one’s partners with basic decency and respect has shit-fuck-all to do with chromosomes, genitalia, gender performance, or choice of same in partner or partners, or even with the presence or lack of romantic/sexual connection.
Stay tuned for more exciting episodes of QoT’s Dating Advice, possibly dealing with hilarious subjects like How Do I Get Her Interested in Anal?* and Self-Contradictory Advice On Bagging, Tagging, And Releasing Your Man Into The Wild For Further Study.
*Who me, trying to startle pron-seekers via use of Scandalous Vocabulary?