TVNZ CEO Rick Ellis confirmed today that Paul Henry will be back on television just as soon as it’s even mildly palatable for the state broadcaster to re-hire him.
“I think New Zealanders have the collective memory of a colony of whelks and we’ll be sneaking Paul back onscreen pretty soon,” Ellis stated.
“Of course anyone who questions this will be implied to not be upholding good white Christian values which will especially stifle those fucking liberals.”
Ellis was clearly traumatised by the outcome of the debacle. “I frankly think none of this needed to go this far, and if those fucking Indians hadn’t decided to take offence at Paul’s blatant racism then he would still be with us today.”
“I mean, have they even watched Breakfast before? He obviously wasn’t there to enlighten people.”
Ellis further praised Paul for his recent gaining of a certificate from AUT in a six-day Advanced Theatre: Fake Remorse workshop and felt that he’d “really put his learnings into practice” in this case.
“Paul’s apology for his behaviour, which was completely in character and completely what he was expected to display on Breakfast, almost managed to sound vaguely like he’d written it himself. I think we need to give him due respect for that.”