Minor breakouts of major gripes

I’d long ago realised that part of the reason I post cussy rants about things that seem like just small issues, not a huge deal, isn’t there something more important to worry about – is because those “small issues” just tap into much bigger problems.

Today, two such small issues reared their annoying heads.

The continuing saga of Oh Noes The Brown Man Said A Mean Word broke out on Red Alert, with Hon Trevor insert-duck-to-water-metaphor-here Mallard chipping in to the debate:

If a Pakeha used the term brown mofos it would be racist.  That standard should apply both ways.

Which actually hits several big Pisses Me Right The Fuck Off buttons.  But to summarise:  using the argument of “the same standard” is so close to “one law for all” they couldn’t legally marry in all 50 states of the US.  It’s “special rights”, it’s “level playing field”, and it’s bullshit.

There isn’t a fucking level playing field when one group of people has been historically shat on by another from orbit.  There isn’t a tabula rasa of race relations where such lovely “can’t we all just be equals and ignore skin colour and historical disenfranchisement and oh we tried to destroy your language and culture” ideas can be writ large.

There is a basic reason why a person of Maori descent can refer to “white motherfuckers stealing our land” which does not hold true for a person of European descent saying “brown motherfuckers stealing our car”.  That reason is privilege.  Learn you some.

Second small issue:  in the continuing if-they-wrote-this-for-TV-no-one-would-believe-it tale of Doug Schmuck and some possibly-dodgy legislative drafting, one quote nicely put its thumb directly on my White Middle Class Bastards Who Just Love Law And Order Until It Applies To Them button.

The 15-year fight for the Opua boat ramp had taken “a hell of a lot of time” and cost Mr Schmuck close to $200,000. “A few objectors can run the costs up so high that it makes things like the Resource Management Act untenable,” he said.

Ah, yes.  You can always spot a WMCBWJLL&OUIATT, by the way they seem completely oblivious of the fact that the law still counts even when it might stop them from doing something they want to do.

The classic example is provided every time there’s a Police crackdown on speeding, possibly by, oh the horrors, using hidden speed cameras.  Now, you might think “well if people don’t want to get speeding tickets they could try not speeding”, but such thoughts do not pass through the brains of White Middle-Class Bastards. No no no, this is just a revenue gathering exercise.

It’s not like their own speeding could cause accidents or cost people their lives or anything.  We all know that speed only kills when it’s those bloody Asian homestay students whose rich daddies send them thirty grand a month to buy Ferraris and meth with, obviously.  The laws of physics are very specific on this.

The other classic, of course, is the killing of Pihema Cameron – where the Your Sensible Is Not Like Our Earth Sensible Sentencing Trust decided that actually, that whole “tough punishment for violent crims is the way to save society” line didn’t so much count when the stabber was a rich white guy and the victim was [insert stereotype about Maori teenage boys here].

And so we have (oh Gods it makes me giggle every time) Doug Schmuck.  Who has been nearly bankrupted, dear readers, by busybodies and that bane of the WMCB, the Resource Management Act.  All because he built a private fucking boat ramp on a fucking public reserve.

It’s almost like some people expect Good Hardworking [White Male] Businessmen to obey the law or something.  Don’t they understand the law is for the little people?

Can you SMELL what the Minister IS SMOKING?

Well, WordPress just ate a post, so fuckit. I am tired.

Long story short:  Paula Bennett, Minister for Social Development and Employment, gets pissy that two solo mothers are making noise about training allowance cuts.

Paula Bennett responds by releasing confidential information about these women’s incomes.

Ooh, sick burn, Paula. You sure triumphed over the forces of raising-children-on-your-own-while-studying.

Too bad the Cabinet Manual doesn’t seem to concur, and citing the Privacy Commission’s website as a backup? Not the best idea you ever had because if there’s one thing bloggers love, it’s being able to just check things online.

End result?  You want to have a petty little flamewar, Paula, get a fucking blog and don’t use your position as a fucking Minister of the Crown to bully people into silence.

Emma Hart is my homegirl

And she has a fucking amazing piece up in honour of NZ Women’s Refuge’s Annual Appeal.  Warning: very likely triggering, depiction of domestic abuse.

Imagine you’re a woman. This will be easier for some of you than others, obviously. Enjoy the easy, it’s about to get harder.

It of course takes a mere page of comments before idiocy emerges, but you can’t win them all.

It is the Women’s Refuge Annual Appeal week, and I thoroughly encourage y’all to donate, because they do hugely important, heartbreaking work that needs to be done.

Sobering fact of the day in case anyone’s feeling callous or indifferent about abuse: their website has a “Hide My Visit” button.  Because there are women out there whose partners will search their browser history and attack them physically if they find evidence – like a visit to a Refuge website – that their victims might be looking for a way out.

Good news:  Clayton Weatherston was found guilty of murder.  To hell with you, bullshit “provocation” defence.  Anjum has some thoughts on the verdict.

Funny of the day:  Gordon Campbell eviscerates the appointment of Don Brash to the Government’s shiny new productivity forum. Wage gap with Australia? HOW COULD THAT HAVE HAPPENED?

Cut off my reproductive rights and I’m cutting off yours

What I/S said.

Of course, the easiest way to let the pro-controlling-women’s-bodies crowd know that they are a dying people and we should let them pass would be to just have some clear, concrete legislation that throws out the whole “two certifying consultants” and their little bag of good-enough-reasons situation.  To just give women abortion on demand. To have better, comprehensive sex education so a shitload of unplanned pregnancies don’t happen in the first place.

Hell, then we might not even need to put folate in everyone’s bread! But this is clearly Crazy Talk and I am just a mere woman who cannot be trusted with her own damn body; besides, with a Government that happily aligns itself with the Nonsensical Sentencing Trust we shall probably have to consider ourselves lucky if the High Court simply upholds the status quo.

So it’s about the right to hit good parents?

Lyndon Hood’s spreadsheet guide to voting in the forthcoming [insert ideological slant] referendum is amazing, and offers a great reason not to write rude things on your ballot – it’s not the little orange person’s fault the question’s stupid, is it?

Drive-by posting

Because I am sleepy, and this one is for the Aussies out there:

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Men at Work’s Down Under ‘ripped off’ Kookaburra

Now, as unlikely as it seems, the classic children’s ditty Kookaburra and the Men At Work hit Down Under are set to go head-to-head in court amid accusations part of the rock anthem is a rip off.

Apparently this was first posited in 2007. 2000-fucking-SEVEN. Stop me if I’m jumping to conclusions, but I can’t help but think, given the cult-like status of Down Under and the so-common-even-KIWI-schoolkids-sing-it Kookaburra?* SOMEONE WOULD PROBABLY HAVE NOTICED EARLIER.

*It’s in an episode of Doctor Who, for fuck’s sake.

Oh, *now* we can use the r-word

In case there were lingering doubt in anyone’s mind about the deliberate downplaying of sexual assault that occurs in media reports that commonly use phrases like “began having a sexual relationship with the nine-year-old”, and in case anyone still thinks the “not legally proven to be rape” argument holds water:

Horrified onlookers see daylight sex attack

A woman was abducted from a New Plymouth street and raped in broad daylight yesterday as horrified members of the public looked on.*

The 48-year-old was walking along Breakwater Rd … when she was grabbed by a man who forced her on to a nearby grass area where he sexually violated her in full view of the busy road.

…[Police] were able to arrest the alleged offender, a 29-year-old Taranaki man, soon after.

Look at that! Accurate use of the word “rape” while maintaining legally-mandated presumption of innocence! Who’d'a thunk it?

Unless of course there’s some reason this counts as “real” rape in some mystical way all those other cases don’t.

*In the interests of not confusing the point I am not even going to start on the phrase “looked on”.

People I love today

Horrible Wellington weather can really take it out of a blogger sometime, so just two shout-outs to people who have made me grin/cackle today:

Editing the Herald: Fuck dude, you know you’re on to something when they threaten legal action. Give ‘em hell. Wait, no, I mean OH DUDE THE LOGO TOTALLY HAD ME FOOLED I THOUGHT YOU WERE ACTUALLY AN OFFICIAL APN-FUNDED BLOG ahahahahahano.

And Lesley at Fatshionista, who revealed THE AWFUL TRUTH about her lord and master, Fat Satan, with one of the best sentences I’ve read in my life:

You knew Fat Satan was looking out for you. That in the times when there was only one set of fingerprints in the bowl of raw cookie dough, those were the times when Fat Satan was feeding you.

Love you guys.

Feuer frei!

No Right Turn reports that the Employment Relations Amendment Act comes into force today, aka the 90-Day/Fire-at-Will Bill (now Act).

As a person currently seeking fulltime work myself, I’ll be heeding I/S’s advice:

If you have any sort of choice at all, I suggest not working for a small business, and refusing to sign any contract which includes a fire-at-will clause.

But as I/S points out, some people don’t have that choice, and they’re the ones who can least afford to get dicked over by this idiotic law.

Seriously, Garth, can you HEAR yourself?

Bruce Emery, noted child-killer businessman has been sentenced for the manslaughter of young vandal Pihema Cameron, a child dope-fuelled tagging machine.

How much is the life of a brown kid worth these days? Four years, three months.

The starting point for sentencing was five and a half to six years jail because it was a homicide with the use of a knife, the judge said. But Emery received the benefit of mitigating factors, including his “family standing” in the community.

… So you can see that this post is going to get swear-y, right?