Ideologically Impure

Entries tagged as ‘chuckles’

Minor breakouts of major gripes

December 4, 2009 · 3 Comments

I’d long ago realised that part of the reason I post cussy rants about things that seem like just small issues, not a huge deal, isn’t there something more important to worry about – is because those “small issues” just tap into much bigger problems.

Today, two such small issues reared their annoying heads.

The continuing saga of Oh Noes The Brown Man Said A Mean Word broke out on Red Alert, with Hon Trevor insert-duck-to-water-metaphor-here Mallard chipping in to the debate:

If a Pakeha used the term brown mofos it would be racist.  That standard should apply both ways.

Which actually hits several big Pisses Me Right The Fuck Off buttons.  But to summarise:  using the argument of “the same standard” is so close to “one law for all” they couldn’t legally marry in all 50 states of the US.  It’s “special rights”, it’s “level playing field”, and it’s bullshit.

There isn’t a fucking level playing field when one group of people has been historically shat on by another from orbit.  There isn’t a tabula rasa of race relations where such lovely “can’t we all just be equals and ignore skin colour and historical disenfranchisement and oh we tried to destroy your language and culture” ideas can be writ large.

There is a basic reason why a person of Maori descent can refer to “white motherfuckers stealing our land” which does not hold true for a person of European descent saying “brown motherfuckers stealing our car”.  That reason is privilege.  Learn you some.

Second small issue:  in the continuing if-they-wrote-this-for-TV-no-one-would-believe-it tale of Doug Schmuck and some possibly-dodgy legislative drafting, one quote nicely put its thumb directly on my White Middle Class Bastards Who Just Love Law And Order Until It Applies To Them button.

The 15-year fight for the Opua boat ramp had taken “a hell of a lot of time” and cost Mr Schmuck close to $200,000. “A few objectors can run the costs up so high that it makes things like the Resource Management Act untenable,” he said.

Ah, yes.  You can always spot a WMCBWJLL&OUIATT, by the way they seem completely oblivious of the fact that the law still counts even when it might stop them from doing something they want to do.

The classic example is provided every time there’s a Police crackdown on speeding, possibly by, oh the horrors, using hidden speed cameras.  Now, you might think “well if people don’t want to get speeding tickets they could try not speeding”, but such thoughts do not pass through the brains of White Middle-Class Bastards. No no no, this is just a revenue gathering exercise.

It’s not like their own speeding could cause accidents or cost people their lives or anything.  We all know that speed only kills when it’s those bloody Asian homestay students whose rich daddies send them thirty grand a month to buy Ferraris and meth with, obviously.  The laws of physics are very specific on this.

The other classic, of course, is the killing of Pihema Cameron – where the Your Sensible Is Not Like Our Earth Sensible Sentencing Trust decided that actually, that whole “tough punishment for violent crims is the way to save society” line didn’t so much count when the stabber was a rich white guy and the victim was [insert stereotype about Maori teenage boys here].

And so we have (oh Gods it makes me giggle every time) Doug Schmuck.  Who has been nearly bankrupted, dear readers, by busybodies and that bane of the WMCB, the Resource Management Act.  All because he built a private fucking boat ramp on a fucking public reserve.

It’s almost like some people expect Good Hardworking [White Male] Businessmen to obey the law or something.  Don’t they understand the law is for the little people?

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SpongeBob Tarau Porowhaa says mean things about you in another language

July 30, 2009 · 3 Comments

It’s Maori Language Week, or Te Wiki o Te Reo Maori.  Please excuse my lack of macrons, I do not wish to tempt fate and/or the fragility of WordPress.

First things first: serious, serious kudos to Nickelodeon. (Warning: auto-play)

Next:  As soon as I saw Kelvin Davis had posted on Red Alert, in Maori, without providing a translation, I knew whinging trolls could not be far off.  Call it instinct, call it seeing the same damn thing happen every time a university magazine publishes a Maori Language Week issue:

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A referendum I can believe in

July 10, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Just too funny – and too true – not to post.

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So it’s about the right to hit good parents?

July 3, 2009 · 8 Comments

Lyndon Hood’s spreadsheet guide to voting in the forthcoming [insert ideological slant] referendum is amazing, and offers a great reason not to write rude things on your ballot – it’s not the little orange person’s fault the question’s stupid, is it?

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People I love today

May 6, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Horrible Wellington weather can really take it out of a blogger sometime, so just two shout-outs to people who have made me grin/cackle today:

Editing the Herald: Fuck dude, you know you’re on to something when they threaten legal action. Give ‘em hell. Wait, no, I mean OH DUDE THE LOGO TOTALLY HAD ME FOOLED I THOUGHT YOU WERE ACTUALLY AN OFFICIAL APN-FUNDED BLOG ahahahahahano.

And Lesley at Fatshionista, who revealed THE AWFUL TRUTH about her lord and master, Fat Satan, with one of the best sentences I’ve read in my life:

You knew Fat Satan was looking out for you. That in the times when there was only one set of fingerprints in the bowl of raw cookie dough, those were the times when Fat Satan was feeding you.

Love you guys.

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AUSA and body image

July 24, 2008 · 1 Comment

First off, AUSA, thanks for brightening an otherwise dull and mucus-filled day.* With $5000 going to any Auckland Uni student gutsy enough to perform a citizen’s arrest on Condoleezza Rice, I expect hilarity and/or impassioned debate on the powers given to police under our “anti-terrorism” legislation.

But from that to something rather more annoying: the current mongoosefight** between various feminists/”feminists”/avowed-non-feminists over that most high-school of topics, personal fucking appearance.

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Where is the [kinky] love?

July 6, 2008 · Leave a Comment

An awesome, eloquent, everything-I’ve-always-wanted-to-express-but-lacked-the-ability post at The F-Word, by Kit from Today I Am A Boy – a new addition to my required online reading – on the reconciling of feminism and BDSM.

That is not how feminism should work. More specifically, feminism should not have a prescriptive stance on female sexuality, that subject of so much debate both outside and within the feminist movement. Feminists discuss and question; we frequently disagree and agree to differ; we debate assumptions and challenge stereotypes, but prescriptivism should not be on our agenda.

Kit, so looking forward to reading more of your stuff.

For your semi-regular dose of My God Fundies Are Hilarious, People For The American Way have cackle-inducing screenshots showing The Dangers of Auto-Replace.

Also, Girl Scouts = Radical Feminists. If by “radical feminists” you mean “think empowering young women is a Good Thing”, which … not quite.

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I’m aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!

June 6, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Worst house-moving in the history of domiciles. On the plus side, I had forgotten how AWESOME a steaming-hot bath is.

Anyways, some good reading to tide you over till I get some real writing done:

The Inaugural Down Under Feminists Carnival is up at Hoyden About Town. If that doesn’t keep you busy, there’s nothing for it but a Rubik’s Cube.

Concerned of Linwood has a nice piece up about the lobbyists I hate even more than Family First – our own “Sensible” Sentencing Trust.

And in case you were in need of a bit of a giggle, Jolisa over at Public Address brings the goods (hopefully that link works, my computer is being flighty) with her son’s conclusion as to why people* dislike hoodies:

Well, I said, some young people like to wear outfits with hoods, because they think it looks cool. Whereas some older people think the hoods look really dodgy and threatening.

He thought about it for a moment and then lit up.

“Oh, I get it. They think you’re a dementor!”

And for something completely different, a plug for my current webcomic obsession, Darths & Droids: Because The Phantom Menace is just so much better if you assume it was a slightly chaotic RPG campaign. Warning: may contain jokes about dice.

*If by “people” I mean “those who enjoy demonizing Da Yoof and damning their comfortable clothing”.

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