1. Start with a Monty Python reference to show you’re down with the kids.
2. Confuse “key messages” with “repeating one basic, boring, unconvincing phrase verbatim every few sentences”.
3. Hype up how people in your industry are working fewer hours, earning more money, envied the world over, and whinge a little about how you don’t get the respect you deserve from Kiwis, those bastards.
4. Crack an awful James Cameron-related pun at the end.
5. Forget that the entire purpose of your organisation is to convince the rest of the country that you work harder than everyone else for a pittance out of the goodness of your own hearts and that’s why we should bail out your members when drought mysteriously occurs every year, oh and also feel honoured to pay $15 for a block of cheese.
You couldn’t ask for better wank.
“increased health and safety culture”
Umm…. I’m related to several people working in this area, and I have to say that the opposite is true. At every step, farmers are opposing attempts to bring health and safety into the occupation, and it is only with great reluctance that any culture is increasing.
Also… “James Cameron” “Titanic”. I get it! LOL!
(One point in the defence of farmers and the price of cheese etc., the farmers themselves of many products don’t get paid that much, especially in the meat and produce sectors, and it’s the middlemen and wholesalers that are reaping the profits in this area)
Damned middlemen. Of course, the engineered Fonterra monopoly doesn’t exactly help …